Movies My Husband Makes Me Watch

...and my reaction to them.

Since we canceled cable, my husband and I watch a lot more movies together, and while that sounds sweet, it really isn't.  At least with cable, we both agreed on the History channel...  The thing is, Dustin and I have completely different tastes in movies.  He likes action, bang-bang shoot 'em up movies, and if there are cars, even better.  I, on the other hand, have a different set of criteria that makes a good movie, which is pretty much the opposite of his. This is basically movies he has made me watch, and my reaction to them.  I may or may not be spoiling them for you, but honestly, I don't exactly recommend them anyway.  ;)

Fight Club
What my husband said to convince me to watch it:    "What?!?! You've NEVER seen Fight Club???? You HAVE to see it! No I can't tell you what it's about!  It's against the rules...  But don't worry, you'll like it."
My reaction: "Hmm...weird...that's dumb...why do they want to fight???...umm, why are they making soap?...wait- why are doing that...Seriously? That guy was the dude the whole time?? That's dumb."
I give it 2 stars out of 5

My husband will read this, and will be infuriated all over again.  Insulting Fight Club is like insulting the male species. Apparently.

Transporter
What my husband said to convince me to watch it: "You'll like it... it's about a guy who saves a girl."
My reaction: "So... the guy is a spy...?  Wait...why is doing that?  Why is everyone getting shot?  Who is the girl again?  And you're sure the guy isn't a spy?"  Repeat that throughout the whole movie.  I still can't tell you what it's about- maybe I could've paid a little more attention.
I give it 1 star out of 5







Death Race
What my husband said to convince me to watch it: "You'll like it... "
My reaction: "Why are he in prison?  Why do they race?  You can't really race in prison...can you?  Seriously, this is so fake.  The state of California would never let you race to get out prison... well, it is California.  Why are they trying to kill each other?! (To which my husband replied, "Uh, babe... it's called Death Race.  What the hell did you think they'd try to do? Touche.)"
I give it 1 1/2 stars out of 5

The Punisher
What my husband said to convince me to watch it:  "You'll like it.  He really is a good guy."
My reaction: "This is boring... ahh!  They shot his kid!  This is a HORRIBLE movie.  Wait, what is he doing now?  This is boring.  Hmm... it's set in Tampa Bay.  I wonder if it was really filmed in Tampa Bay.  This is boring.  Oh! They have Bay News 9 on here, it MUST be filmed in Tampa.  This is boring.  This is dumb.  Why is there so much gore?!  That's it? That's the end?  DUMB."
Um... I give it a half a star...?

Lord of War
What my husband said to convince me to watch it: "You'll like it.  It has a real redemptive story."
My reaction: "Eww, why did they have to show that in the first scene?! Wow, lots of shooting already.  Lots of shooting.  Oh, and cocaine.  More shooting and cocaine.  Ahh, man!  Do they HAVE to show us that?! More shooting?  How does his wife not know?!  Oh, now she does.  Hmm... it's getting interesting.  *looking up the true story on wiki* Oh, great, more shooting.  Well, that's a good idea- this guy is kinda smart."
I give it 3 1/2 stars out of 5.  It was actually pretty good, but not something I'd watch over and over.

Felon
What my husband said to convince me to watch it: "You'll like it... he's a really good guy."
My reaction: "I'm not going to like it... wait, why is he arrested?  The guy broke into HIS house.  Seriously? He's going to prison?  Wouldn't it just be manslaughter charges?  Okay, I'll shut up.  Wait, does that really happen in prison?  Does that really happen in prison?  Do they really do that in prison?! You really have to do that in prison?!  That's horrible.  No wonder people come out of prison worse off than before. Why is he doing that?  Why are the guards doing that?  Is he going to get out of prison?! Ah, okay, I'm glad he's home."
I give it 2 stars out of 5

The Bourne Trilogy
What my husband said to convince me to watch it: "You'll like it."  (Do you see a pattern here?)
My reaction: Basically, I was too sucked into the movies to even have one.  :)
5 stars out of 5. Success!  

Disclaimer: Obviously, I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to these movies (obviously.)  So, basically, if I get some of the details wrong, I'm sorry.  You get the general idea though.  ;)